Edge of Desire

I am hopelessly in love with someone who doesn't even know that I am. Ridiculous. I know. I tell myself that, every other minute. My thoughts are consumed by ridiculousness lately. The best part is, never been on a date with the guy & he's never said or done anything that legitimizes the way I feel, yet I still feel the way I do. It's semi-annoying. Really. I could give you about 5 or 6 reasons that could somewhat attempt to validate how I feel, but at the end of the day, logic says "get real". These are the moments that I am extremely bothered by my XX chromosomes. Is it really better to have loved than not love at all? This hopeless romantic ISH is really starting to irritate me. Or am I really only irritated by the fact that I'm not brave enough to take a risk and address my feelings. This internal conversation is a vicious cycle of thoughts transmitted by my brain aimed at my heart, threatening to break it. AAAAAHHHHHH!

(P.S. Don't worry, I'm still going on my mission! Just needed to get a YEAR-long conversation in my head, OUT of my head!)
(P.S.S. Sounds like 'infatuation'. I know. I've been infatuated before. There's something about this time that feels different? I could be wrong...I guess we'll [I'll] eventually find out!)